Smooothe? Vega? what is REALLY your name? To those of you that wondered... this page is for YOU. Actually most of my life I've been called Pep...as in Pepsi. Pepperoni. Pepto Bismol. And a host of other names I've been teasingly called. I hate it. But its true...Here's how it happened.
What does pep mean? This has to be the most asked question of my life. And I have many answers for that question. Since the truth is a long story and the whole world went and got itself in a big bloody rush leaving no time for long stories, I have developed alternates. Not really lies, just alternate versions of what pep means. When asked why I was named that, I say, "I wasn't." and act busy with something in hopes they will abandon the investigation. But usually they do NOT. They inquire further, as if the name has some sort of evil connotation that they would like to dispel; a cute story that would smother the lurid thoughts conjured up by curiosity as to what the hell PEP means. In a final attempt to avoid discussing my dumb name, I usually play the humor card, and say something like "Wow... I don't really know why I am Pep...actually I was pretty young when I became Pep, and I don't remember why I was named that. Just call me Bob." Sometimes, If I really don't want to answer I might play the obscurity card...saying unrelated and totally random like "Hey...We can skip the name thing... I was cesarean born, but when I leave the house I don't go out through a window, ok?" This usually confusing effect...some even try to make sense of it and draw a paralel to the topic at hand. Others are in wonder as to whether we are talking about the same thing. Most common is the puzzled blank look, maybe a scratching of the head. If I'm on line during this joyous routine, people think I don't understand the question and re-phrase it, making me a prime target for hecklers in chatrooms. =I let them re-phrase it a few times before giving them the stock on-line answer to the name dilemma. "My friends call me Pep...My enemies call me #$$&@*!...you don't even have to call me!" These and other clever diversions almost always clear a path for my immediate departure...if I hurry. I usually have just enough time to make an quick get away... and escape to another room (live AND on line). On line its much easier to deal with...I could actually ignore the inquirer(s) if I wanted. In real life (off line?) I usually get a puzzled blank look in reply ...maybe a scratching of the head... and requests for clarification on the cesarean comment. I prefer to discuss it on line.
And since we're on line at present...lets just take care of this once and for all.
My real name is Delfino Escamilla Martinez. Delfino means Dolphin in spanish. Now...I don't mind being named after a smart mammal that's often mistaken for a fish and seen as a super-intelligent creature....but lets face it folks... Delfino is NOT a cool name. Why couldn't I have been a 'Mike'? Mike works. Every American knows a Mike. Nope. My folks don't like Mike. If anything I would likely have ended up a 'Miguel' if they did. Before I even MET any Mikes I KNEW I had a dumb name. Oh well... further on in the drama...
Delfino given name from my mother and father, both of Mexican heritage. I love my mom and dad and I would never change my name and take a chance on insulting them. They are the very fabric of life that made it possible for me to be here rambling to you today. I could see it now...."Mom, Dad, I have changed my name to Bill Gates. It's easier to spell and it seems to be a pretty lucky name." Yeah. That's gonna go over well. My dad can't even Say Bill. With his heavy accent the closest he can come "Beel". So Delfino became Pep to make everyone happy. How? Read on... it gets worse.
I have five brothers and four sisters, all older except one. I have one younger brother. I have an older sister, Karen, who was 2 when I was born. She could not say Delfino. (I couldn't say it either, but that didn't seem to matter) The closest she could come to pronouncing 'Delfino' was 'pepino'...which incidentally translates (from spanish) as a common condiment....PICKLE.
In Spanish 'Pepino' means pickle. Not the verb, the noun. I don't really care for being named something that translates literally as a common condiment aged in brine available in several varieties and styles but all having ONE thing in common: They're all OLD by the time you see them. Not unlike myself, I guess... because I'm older than most of my e-friends. I attribute this to the time span of the Internet... People that would be my e-peers all seem old to me. They're almost all boring people with boring jobs and they do boring stuff when not doing their usual boring daily routines. It's like they forgot how to have fun...I simply refuse to grow up until I'm ready. I don't WANT to be Mr. Martinez Senior. Speaking of which, lets wrap up that name thing...
I was fortunate enough for my family to have shortened my name to PEP. Which is who I was prior to the internet. I became Smooothe and decided to sign my art with this moniker... But most of my current friends call me Vince or Vinnie. Either is fine...I've always had a hidden fear that I would end up being called Murgi Chor (Hindi for 'hen thief')...this nickname was meant to be a funny temporary chatroom thing...but i still am called that bu some friends (jokingly) but I assure you all...though sometimes I am still called Murgi, Your chickens are safe and sound. I don't mind it really. After all, its better than being called a pickle.
